day 23: keep hiking : the unexpected human experience

Monday, 3/28/16 

Mondaaaaaaaaze. I do not like Mondays. I would go so far as to say that nobody likes Mondays, really. I was certainly not looking forward to today - parents having just left and all that. 

But then the unexpected happened. 

I turned the day around. And when I did - the day responded. 

I’m not kidding y'all. After today, I am once and for all converted into believing that what we put out there, the universe responds in kind. 

I woke up DREADING today. It’s strange how that happens. You can have such a “high” day like yesterday, and then wake up just feeling low. Like- wow, can I really tackle this week? But that’s the reality of the human experience. We all feel it. We all go through it. We may look different, have different backgrounds, like different things, and believe in different things- but the human experience is universal. Sometimes we forget that. Sometimes we just need a friend to remind us.

Friends are important y’all. Real friends. The ones you can call on days like today and just say- “hey, I am struggling. I don’t feel like it today.” - because that friend will tell you, yeah hard days suck - but the world needs you today. Someone needs what you have. So get out there, and give it. 

That’s what my twin from another mother did for me today - and does regularly - from across the country.

Jess, my sweet, where would I be in this life without you by my side? Fighting, encouraging me, talking me down, and never giving up on the adventure - to be honest I don’t want to know, so thank goodness I don’t have to. The world is nourishing your shine, Jess - keep hiking even when the dust clouds the way. 

Our conversation had me determined to turn the day around. To believe for the good. To be full of joy and gratitude, even if only for another day to live and breathe (which when you think about it is actually something to be massively grateful for.)

And then the out of nowhere happened. Another gorgeous friend from LA called me to see if I could make it out at the end of next month to record on an amazing project with him and a bunch of fellow artists. The days just so happen to coincide with the end of this 52 day journey. If it all works out, I’ll be out there on April 26, 2016 - the final day of this 52 day journey and on the two year date of my assault - a day that I don’t like to be in NY.. Last year, I flew home to Texas. This year, I’ve been thinking about hopping on a train upstate that day. Praying about how to make it through. And then this. I could be in one of my favorite places on earth, where some of my nearest and dearest live, making art about something I believe in. Oh, sometimes the love of God is too deep for me to understand. 

I don’t know if it will all work out. I’m so hopeful that it will. But I do know that I was in a place to receive the unexpected. To believe for the miracle. I believe that matters. I believe that if we live our lives in a pessimistic pothole of negativity, there isn’t room for the good to make it’s way to us. 

Some days I won’t want to hear this. Some days there will be circumstances that transcend this. But what if on those days, I do my damnedest to do it anyway? 

Pray for the unexpected. Believe for the adventure. You never know what’s right around the corner.